At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
