Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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