she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
