Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I had to cum in my sink.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
