I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
