SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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