is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
