What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
