hell yes lets make some ravioli
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
