all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
