one might say we're banned from that church
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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