Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She even gives head with a lisp.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
not ubering you a puppy
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
