At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
