Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
How does it feel to date your dad?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
