So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Randomize
