so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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