She said her name was "party"
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
