My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize