You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
