32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
