Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
