Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
