he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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