i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
