That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
