He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
