Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Boobs are out for the taking
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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