this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
