He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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