I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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