also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you traded sex for a burrito?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
