STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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