I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
