are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
