when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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