some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
