thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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