bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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