My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
There are leaves in my underwear?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
