If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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