Quick, to the slutcave!
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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