I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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