i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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