Apparently you make a good broom.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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