Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
