i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm both gender and math confused
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
