just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
