i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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