the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Dear god my vagina.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
