Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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